emiello:

Pros of dating me

  • i’m rly soft and squishy
  • i’ll make you hot beverages in bed
  • i’m good at compliments
  • you’ll gain lots of dorky pet names

Cons of dating me

  • ummm??
  • zero i am a god

neptunain:

"GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL"

"sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse"

"oh rad bring it in"

lizzymercierdescloux1979:

things girls do that I love:

  • offer their friends sips of their coffee drinks without being asked
  • scratch each others back
  • say things like “smell this lotion I bought this weekend”
  • compliment each other’s eyebrows 
  • that thing when they agree with you and their eyes get really wide and they nod their head solemnly 
  • throw out each others gum wrappers or chip bags when they get up